I try to keep busy. I have a music ministry that is taking off in a lot of really exciting ways. It takes hours of, not only singing, practicing and recording; but also networking, managing,scheduling, and developing business brand. I am the father of 10 children, and we are very active in the community. Monday I had a meeting with the School District,working to develop avenues of cooperation between the home-school and public school communities. I also volunteer for a couple of hours per week, delivering meals to people who can't get out of their homes easily. Then there the whole pastoral thing which includes hours of study, prayer, and meeting people with a variety of needs. Oh, yeah, and I work a full time job.
By Tuesday morning, I had already put in over 20 hours of work and my 40 hour work-week was about to begin. By Thursday, I was so tired and so discouraged that nothing seemed possible. Everything was hopeless.
In 2nd Timothy 2, Paul says something that really troubled me, though. "No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the cares of this life..." (2nd Timothy 2:4). Is that my problem? Am I just trying to do too many different things? But, what do I give up? Do I stop ministering to my community? Do I turn my back on the audiences that are asking for my God-given talent? Do I step down from my responsibilities to the congregation? It was so bad, I was questioning if my life had any value at all, if I couldn't continue to be all the things that God has set before me.
But, then I realized that it isn't about all the "whats" in my life. It's about the WHO (no, not the band).
"In whatever you do, in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father by Him." (Colossians 3:17).
A lot of people ask me, "Why do you do all the things that you do?"
Usually, I smile and respond, "I get bored easy."
The truth is that I can't not do them. I can't just turn a blind eye to needs that are placed right in my lap. But, when I face overwhelming discouragement, it is not because I have burdened myself with too many problems. It is because I've lost sight of the real reason why I am in this world: to shine the Light of the Messiah to the world that needs Him.
"No one engaged in warfare entangles himself wit the cares of this life..." it isn't about finding a single mission to focus on. It is about being singular in my own heart. What I do in life can't just be because I think it needs to be done, nor because I have to be the one who does it. It is because Christ has chosen me and called me a light in this world: singular toward Him.
That doesn't make me any less busy. That doesn't change how difficult (even overwhelming) some of the tasks may be. But, it changes everything. Suddenly, it has nothing to do with my success or failure. It's just about Christ. I can do this.